The last post was posted on 2012.
There are big changes between this 3 years.
I am from a single and available lady become attached to a relationship.
A sales person which promoting an engineering equipment to promoting medical.
A person worked in my own base to a heavy traveler.
I have been so happy and enjoy my life for this 3 years until i forgot the existing of Blogger in my life.
Well, i have a lovely boyfriend for this 2 and a half year.
(Im not going to elaborate more on our lovely story this post)
Of course we had been through turbulence in our relationship.
We got through every "earthquake" , "cyclone" and even "hurricane"
Until these few weeks. We are in the stage of relax time.
We found that both of us could not match perfectly as what we expected earlier.
He told me that he need some time to think if he still want this relationship.
Initially i agreed as what per requested. After few days the feeling of missing him came to me.
I had the urge to find him back and hold back our relationship before the love fade away.
I did. I am proud of myself that i did try to hold back this relationship.
The saddest things is that he refuse to give a chance to our relationship.
This is sad!
I crying and begging. But it doesn't work that way.
After a few days, that was my last question and this could lead me to make my own decision.
Its a simple and straight forward question.
"Do you still love me?"
I am praying hard that he could answer me "YES"
The fact is he answered "NO"
My heart was like a crystal cup fall on the floor.
The pain indescribable. I couldn't stop my tear from flowing down from my eyes.
I am still trying to hold back this relationship by asking for 1 month time from him.
1 month. If 1 month time, he still couldn't find back his loves towards me, then i will give up.
This is what i requested. He neither agreed nor reject.
After i comforted and counsel by a friend of mine, i found i did it wrongly.
I have been so selfish. I want to hold back this relationship is just because i love him and this doesn't mean he loves me too.
Get back the love and relationship between us is what i want.
I never listen to him. I never knew what he want.
Before it's too late, let me do something for him and stop being selfish.
Time is what he want now.
I'll give him and each other time.
This might be an good opportunity for us to explore on the things that we want.
Yeah! i decided to go for that.
Anyhow, i miss him so much.
I miss him so much.
For now this is my message to him:
Darling, I want you to know that i miss you like crazy.
I miss you so much. I miss your hug and your kisses on my lips.
I miss call from you every now and then. I miss your everything.
What i wish is that you could turn back and look.
There's one lovely lady waiting for you.
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