Over Excited

I am so happy today.
Don't know why.
Just feel so excited.
Laugh every now and then and done something very stupid.
Dancing in the public.
Never care how other look on us.
I just enjoy mine.
I wish my days will happy as today.

Well, i am wondering, quite a long time i didn't kiss with guy.
Miss the feeling of kiss.
Still remember kiss with him for whole night.
My longest record that i ever.
I love the kiss feeling with my lover.
Seems like i own him on that moment.
I am desperate for kissing.
But it doesn't mean that i would simply kiss with guy.
Must have the feeling for kissing before i do.
Mr.X......
OMG~~~~
If i do kiss with him, i swear i will never forget the feeling.
STOP dreaming, Jenn.
I-M-M-P-O-S-I-B-L-E
( i know this word )

I
Want
A
Sweet
Night
Kiss

Jennifer is Back

Hmmm..
Today i'm feel quite okay.
Sleep until about 1 something.
So enjoy and appreciate it.
For how long i didn't sleep till so late.
Just now went to watch movie with two kent which is Kent and Ken Teoh.
Haha..
We watched The Sorcerers.
One of the disney movie.
After that we went to snooker with Samuel.
Today my performance not bad.
Finally went to Double plate with Samuel and Lunny.
Yeah...
And my point is said that, i am quite enjoy and happy today.
He finally didn't disturb my mood at all.
Even my phone not always ring like before, but i love it.
I mean i love the way i am, nowadays.
Keep it on, Jenn.

I Wanna Cry Out Loud

Last night he just ask me to be his girlfriend.
We talk for quite long.
Finally end up with i didn't give him any answer.
I didn't say "Yes" or "No".
But honestly i don't think it's the time yet.
Even i have deeply fall for him.
Well, i planned to find him on this Friday.
Give him a surprise as my mom will going to my brother's house.

Just now afternoon he told me that his ex, Cindy will going to meet up with him.
Sure jealously upon me.
But i'm still nothing to him.
Not yet his girl.
I don't have the right stop him from doing.
He told me that we will not going.
I trust him.
Few hours ago, he text me.
Ask me not to contact him anymore as his not my type.
I was like........................
My mind blank.
I replied him " Why suddenly say that?"
Well, he honest to me.
Told me that he still has the feeling towards Cindy.
He thought i will be her replacement.
But couldn't.
That moment, i heard the sound of my broken heart.
So pain.
Unbelievable.
I wanna hear he say that from his mouth.
How much i hope that the one text to me not him.
But i have to accept the fact.

"He got back his girlfriend.
They get back together.
And i being left by him."

This is what i told myself.
I lye on my bed and look at the mirror.
Tried to smile.
The smile from my face is the ugliest smile that i ever seen.
I looked at my eyes, my eyebrow, my nose and my mouth.
I felt pity on myself.
And my heart was like so uncomfortable.
He was the one who makes me fall for him.
Now he's the one who kick me away.
What am i to him?
A spare tyre?
When Cindy left him, he come and flirt to me.
When the time she want him back, he kick me away.
What the hell was going on?
Am i a ball?
Or a rubbish?
Just forget about that.

Now the problems that i have to face.
All my siblings, even relative and all my friends knew about him.
I really don't know how to face them.
When they ask me about him, what should i say?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Someone help me please.
Teach me what should i do.

I AM SO DOWN.....!

Up & Down

Last 2 days ; 12 July 2010, he came and find me again.
He went to my school with his friend ; Sada ; and makes me so nervous.
I don't know what the purpose he went there.
We just chat for about few minutes then he back.
Afternoon, we went to watch Eclipse again at Alor Star Mall.
Well, i doesn't enjoy the movie anymore as i just watched it last few days.
But i do enjoy watch with him and sat beside him.
After that all, we went to have our dinner and continued by snooker then back home.
From the bottom of my heart, i really so happy.
He was much more gentleman that i expect.
He open the car's door for me, help me everything when i need to.
How mush i wish that we're stay in the same town.
What to do?
I appreciate every seconds when i'm with him.

Yesterday.
He told me that he will busy for this few days.
Well, i am wondering what does he busy for?
Busy until don't have time to send me a message or even a call.
I don't know.
What i know is that I MISS HIM so much and his voice.
I told myself that not going to disturb him.
Cause i scare that he will feel i am so annoying.

Today.
I was so down now.
Just now morning mom and stepmother went to my school as my teacher asked them go.
My idiot teacher complains about me.
Said i'm late to school everyday.
I am sleep in the class.
And show them my results.
WTF....!
I was like hot till..................................
I admit that i do sleep in the class but not only me.
Everything end up with , mom quarantine me, ask me not to go out.
On the other hand, he didn't contact me for whole day.
Cause of those stuff, i'm down for whole day.
I wanna tell him.
But.............................
I text him.
He didn't reply.
Even phone him also couldn't get through him.
Until just now.
He message me told me that something happened.
I don't know what's going on.
So worry about him.
I'll only pray for you, my dear.
I Really Miss You.

F**king Bored ; Don't Know What To Do

I am F**king boring now.
Don't know what should i do.
Just finished watch Eclipse (Twilight 3) with Kent , Diane and her boyfriend ; E'Heng.
Hmmm....
Not bad.
Quite enjoy watch Edward and Bella kissing there.
Makes me desperate.
Well, I'm quite miss him ; Mr. Chicken now.
I keep on look at my phone is there any message from him.
But NO..!
He having his supper with his friends.
Honestly, I am not really know my feeling towards him.
Is it just a fresh feeling?
Or the so called LOVE?
Or maybe i miss him just because i'm bored?
Who knows?
I bet his feeling towards me is also not the love feeling.
Seriously , I'm quite scare myself will fall in love with him.
He was so insecure.
If I'm with him, i don't know when will he left me one day.
Anyway, not to think too much.
And i have to control myself not to fall for him.

A Sux Movie But I Do Enjoy Watch It

Yesterday.
When i finish school back home, i received a call.
It's Devon.
She ask me go to 17 just for hang out with E'Heng and Lunny.
They wait me for about half an hour there.
And finally i reached.
I was chat with Shen through message.
He keep on ask me where am i and who i with.
I felt a bit weird.
I just simply told Devon that..
Hmmm... I think he will come Alor Star find me.
After few minutes, i came out from the toilet.
I saw a guy walking towards me.
OMFG~~~
It's him.
WTF..!!!
Probably i'm so happy and my f**king heartbeat increase like hell.
I can feel my face so hot on that moment.
SHIT..
I even so happy now ; when i refresh back.
After awhile, Jia Yee and Siew Kai came to 17 to meet us and going to bring him for dinner.
We have our dinner at RED VILLAGE with Kent, Jia Yee, Siew Kai, Shen and I.
Well, after dinner we took decision to go to Butterworth to watch a movie.
The so called Predators.
Sux....!
Wasting my time.
But i do enjoy watch it as he's feeding me the Chipers.
hahahah~~~~~
Went to Penang for our supper.
Lastly, i reached home at about 4 something.
My parents ; especially my dad jump till his egg almost out.
And the Cibai Po ; 2nd sis.
Scold me like hell.
Well, Mom just told me that she's not going to care about me anymore since she can't control me.
Everything was up to me.
I'm damn disappointed hear that.
Anyway, no matter what had happened, for me, it's worth.

It's A Nightmare Again

Last few days i had a nightmare.
Maybe i was quite tired for this few days, dreamed nonsense when sleep time.
I gave birth in my dream.
Oh My Gosh.
The baby's dad is one of our friend, Steven.
WTF..!!
That's are rubbish.
The fees for the operation is just RM55.55
Even cheaper than a pig give birth.
Once i step out from the hospital, i was so regret.
I don't want the baby.
I don't want to have a husband since i'm still so young.
I just realize that actually now my single life was the best for me.
Maybe i'll change my mind after several years but guarantee not now.

After the nightmare, when i meet the guy, the baby's dad.
I was like so shy why i make those idiot dream.
And also Diane , E'heng and Lunny them laugh at me.
T.T

I Dreamed Of Him Again

Last few nights, i dream of him.

Mr.Confidence.

I dreamed that he trying to chase back me.

Trying to get near to me ; pull closer our distance.

I don't know why he do so.

And i also don't know why i'll dream him.

I'm not miss him wor.

I miss ma Mr.X , Mr.C and Mr.B much more than him.

I told so many people about that so that it won't happen on me.

I do not wish that will really happen.

Instead, i wish that the one are not him but my Mr.X.

I do agree that i loved him ; Mr.Confidence before.

But.........................................

It's already the past.

Maybe i do miss him but that miss beloved one that type.

As i know actually dream is let us realize the feeling when the thing happen.