I Wanna Cry Out Loud

Last night he just ask me to be his girlfriend.
We talk for quite long.
Finally end up with i didn't give him any answer.
I didn't say "Yes" or "No".
But honestly i don't think it's the time yet.
Even i have deeply fall for him.
Well, i planned to find him on this Friday.
Give him a surprise as my mom will going to my brother's house.

Just now afternoon he told me that his ex, Cindy will going to meet up with him.
Sure jealously upon me.
But i'm still nothing to him.
Not yet his girl.
I don't have the right stop him from doing.
He told me that we will not going.
I trust him.
Few hours ago, he text me.
Ask me not to contact him anymore as his not my type.
I was like........................
My mind blank.
I replied him " Why suddenly say that?"
Well, he honest to me.
Told me that he still has the feeling towards Cindy.
He thought i will be her replacement.
But couldn't.
That moment, i heard the sound of my broken heart.
So pain.
Unbelievable.
I wanna hear he say that from his mouth.
How much i hope that the one text to me not him.
But i have to accept the fact.

"He got back his girlfriend.
They get back together.
And i being left by him."

This is what i told myself.
I lye on my bed and look at the mirror.
Tried to smile.
The smile from my face is the ugliest smile that i ever seen.
I looked at my eyes, my eyebrow, my nose and my mouth.
I felt pity on myself.
And my heart was like so uncomfortable.
He was the one who makes me fall for him.
Now he's the one who kick me away.
What am i to him?
A spare tyre?
When Cindy left him, he come and flirt to me.
When the time she want him back, he kick me away.
What the hell was going on?
Am i a ball?
Or a rubbish?
Just forget about that.

Now the problems that i have to face.
All my siblings, even relative and all my friends knew about him.
I really don't know how to face them.
When they ask me about him, what should i say?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Someone help me please.
Teach me what should i do.

I AM SO DOWN.....!